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Monday, October 18, 2010

The Power of “No”

I want to give you guys a little tip on something you can do to become an assertive man with women. I want you to learn to love to say “no.” Being a strong, assertive man is all about defining your boundaries, and demanding respect from people. How do you demand respect? You demand respect by making it clear what you will and will not allow as far as other’s behavior towards you. The easiest way to do this is to give a firm “no” when someone asks something of you that you have a good reason not to do.

Now, I am not telling you to tell your boss “no” or to tell police or other authorities “no” when they ask you to do something reasonable. I am saying that when someone wants something from you that is a clear violation of your boundaries or rules, is inconsistent with what your values or goals are, or that asks you to give more than you feel comfortable giving in the particular situation that you give a polite but firm “no” to keep people from taking advantage of you.

This ability to stand up for yourself when you feel someone is being unreasonable is crucial to strong assertive behavior. This assertive masculine behavior is crucial in order to be successful with women because it will cause you to get played or taken advantage of much much less.

I hope you use this little tidbit to make sure that you keep your respect when dealing with women. I urge you to try it out. As always, keep womanizing!

Your friend,

The Web Womanizer

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Excusers and Excuses

Last week I was alerted to the existence of this one site called PUAHate.com. It is basically a forum where guys and girls discuss their hatred of dating coaches and specifically the PUA community dating coaches. Although I don’t condone hate and anger against the PUA community, some of what they discuss makes sense in their critique of the PUA community, and I will leave it up to you to look up different viewpoints and decide for yourself what makes sense to you and what doesn’t. One thing I did learn by talking to these guys though is that one of the big reasons guys may not achieve success with women (or anything else) is the “excuser” mindset.

First, let’s look at the two points many of these excusers posed to me in why learning how to be successful with women is futile:

1. You need to be good looking.

2. Game cannot be taught or learned.

Here are my responses to those counterpoints:

1. Good Looks

I am a good looking guy. Most of the people I have met from the PUA community are good looking guys. All of my clients are good looking guys (for those of you who are clients of mine reading this, you know this to be true).

(I define good looks as having a good build: athletic, slim, muscular, or slightly thick [not really skinny or obese]; a decent haircut to complement one's face; an average [at least] clothing style; and a slightly above average looking face.)

That being said, every one of those people (including me) at one time or another had something in common other than good looks: They had trouble getting women.

I have rectified that in myself through 5 years of learning (and unlearning) stuff from the PUA community, stuff from the counter-PUA community (David X, Alan Roger Currie, Sleazy, 60, etc.), and mostly from my own experience (the primary teacher for everyone). So I went from a good looking guy that couldn't get a date to save his life, to a good looking guy that regularly gets 2-3 dates a week.

To counter that I have a friend who is Indian, medium height, and has a little bit of a belly. He dresses nice though, and has a great haircut. He is an average looking non-white male though. He was my mentor throughout the period where I learned how to get women. Despite not being particularly good-looking he has amazing success in getting very beautiful women. I will say this though, he is amazingly charming and charismatic, and his game is a 10. He is one smooth man.

2. Guys cannot teach/learn game

I already said this, but the primary teacher needs to be one's own experience. Coaching is a supplement used to assist one on their journey to success. There is no quick fix or magic pill. The reason guys get into the PUA community is because they want to believe there is. Some (like me) continue to work hard and find success. Others stick their tail between their legs and walk away after figuring out that the magic pill is complete bullshit.

You can learn how to be good with women. The key is to work hard and to learn from your experiences. A good coach can help you with this process significantly. As long as they have the experience to identify your weaknesses, and are realistic with you on what you need to do to be successful, then they can be invaluable.

The stuff I learned from David X and Alan Roger Currie were invaluable for me to learn how to get rid of excuses, fear, and the bullshit that most of the PUA community teaches.

My system is very simple. I taught my system to multiple friends and acquaintances (for free at first) and observed that they had much better results in meeting and dating women online than before they used my system. That made it very clear to me that my system was effective enough to teach to others in a professional sense.

Now, I thoroughly believe that any guy can have trouble meeting women despite how he may look and that it can be fixed if he is mentored into the correct mindset. This has been proven true through my experience and the experience of many others.

Now that I have answered the two excuses I hear the most, I want to get into what I think defines an excuser:

They might sit around their ass reading a bunch of PUA stuff. They might sit around on their ass and critique and hate on guys that claim to have success with women. They might sit around on their ass beating off and watching porn instead of going out and meeting women like they would like to do.

The whole point is that the only thing they do is sit around on their ass, bitch, and complain, all while the whole world is moving on without them. These kinds of people won't ever see success. Dating coaches cannot help them. Neither can therapists or medical professionals.

Why?

Because they refuse to understand that to get anything that truly has anything of value to them that they have to really work hard. They feel entitled to success, and don't realize they have to earn it.

At the end of the day, they want to rationalize to themselves why they cannot get what they desire. So they lie to themselves. They are weak, pathetic, useless liars.

Their rationalizations come off as "You need to be rich or really good looking to get women." When reality clearly shows that there are tons of poor men and ugly guys that get women. These successful men don't even use any top-secret PUA tactics either.

They even put people down and hate on people that do give them good advice and try to help them.

They make excuses, and will never achieve any kind of success while doing so.

I am not of this second type, and I will not take someone as a student of mine if I feel they are of this second type. I cannot help them, and I will not help them. I will refund their money upfront and turn them away if I feel that they are of this type.

They are helpless, unless they make the decision to help themselves.

This may sound harsh, but I feel like it is critical to let people know that there isn’t help for everybody. There can only be help for those who want to work hard at achieving that which they really desire.

I hope you guys can see the darkness and self-destruction that comes with being excuser. As long as you stay excuse free, I know that together we will go far.

Go ahead to my website if you haven’t already to sign up for one of my affordable coaching options.

As always, keep womanizing!

Your friend,

The Web Womanizer

Saturday, September 11, 2010

My Rules of Inner Game

Lately, I have been working with quite a few clients on writing dating profiles. Most every guy can easily understand how to use my system. When it comes down to it my system is pretty simple, and it is useful for one primary thing: To market yourself in the best manner when it comes to online dating. The system is not meant to be a shortcut into every woman’s pants. There is no way you will ever get every woman you want. The only thing you can control is how efficiently you can get what you want. This is why you need to focus on bettering your communication skills and developing the values, principles, and inner game to ensure success.

Most people ask the wrong questions (when coming to me or other dating coaches for advice). They ask the questions: “What do I say to get the girl?” or “What do I do to get the girl to like me?” These are the wrong questions to ask. Now, you do need to know how to effectively communicate what you want, and for online dating you need to know how to effectively market yourself. However, you need to know many other things first. In reality, knowing how to communicate is one of the easiest parts of successful dating. The hard part is developing the foundation: values, principles, and inner game.

What is the real first question you should ask? The better first question is: What do I want? (Instead of wondering what THEY want). Here is the deal: You will NEVER know what THEY want or like or think or makes them wet. Stop worrying about trying. Also, if you do not know what you want, then you are shooting in the dark. How do you know what goal to reach if you don’t even know the goal? Think very hard about what you want. Define it. Write it down. Be VERY specific. What kind of girl do you want? Now, disregarding their looks, what else do you want? What personality traits? What values? What kind of relationship are you looking for? Serious? Long-term? Short-term? One night stand? Casual sex? Friends with benefits?

Now that you know what you want, you can now build that foundation. First off, let’s focus on your core values. You need at least two. These two are honesty and self-respect (respecting others is important too). You need to be honest with yourself about what you want, who you are, and what really makes you happy. Forget about all of that bullshit about being rich or dating nines and dimes. Figure out what you really want. Once you master that, be honest with everyone else. Learn to look everyone you meet in the eye and tell them exactly what you think or feel. Now, be tactful, but be honest and open with people. This will lead to a much real interaction with everyone, including members of the opposite sex. Also, you will have much less stress and anxiety inside your head from keeping up with your own lies. Let’s make this very simple: Think out loud. Do this especially around women. Let them know what you want, who you are, and what you want from them UPFRONT.

Once you are honest with yourself, it is easy to know your limitations, faults, and attractive qualities. It becomes much easier to love yourself for who you are. You need this sense of self-respect and self-honesty to feel comfortable around people. This is the key to relaxing and having self-confidence. You know yourself, you accept yourself, and you are comfortable in your own skin. If someone disrespects your boundaries or contradicts what you want for yourself, you need to protect your boundaries. Be direct with them. Be honest. This upfront honesty and demand for respect will cause people to be honest and to respect you. This is the core of being a man.

Now that you know what you want, are completely upfront and honest about it to yourself and others, and demand respect for your person, you can now go for what you want. Here are the rules to live by:

1. Put your own interests, wants, and self before others
2. Make sure everything is consistent with what you want, or confront the problem honestly or walk completely away if necessary
3. Don’t care about what others think or listen to what they say while going for what you want
4. Always be moving every situation forward: Always be closing

Once you know what you want, are open and honest about it, and have defined boundaries, then these rules will help you reach your goals and maintain your boundaries, values, and self-respect. Don’t ever be short-sighted. If you think that being dishonest, disrespectful (to yourself especially), or that if you do what women say you should to get with them (you may or may not) but you will most likely lose in the end.

This inner game system is easy and simple (though it could possibly take years to “get it”). You just have to know what you want and go for it. Persist, persist, persist (until she slaps you in the face, stops talking to you, or fucks you). Think about it… If you “fuck up” with women it usually comes down to this: She is not interested (you know this right away if you are open and honest); stuff happens that you don’t want (because you let it); you act like a wussy and she moves on (because you either lied, or you supplicated because you kept giving her what she said she wanted); or you stalled out because you were a pussy (because you were too afraid to escalate and close the deal. This also comes from the fact that you care about what she thinks.).

These rules and this mindset is essential to being successful with women. Study it carefully. It seems simple (and it is) but it is the mindset that will separate chumps from players.

Here are some other coaches I recommend for this subject:

DavidX

WATCH THIS!!! This is a very important speech on the mindset:

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTMxNDU5Mzk2.html

Here is his website. Get his book, watch and listen to his videos and podcasts:

http://www.davidxdating.com/

Alan Roger Currie

Go to his website. Buy his books and listen to his podcasts:

http://www.modeone.net/

After you absorb all of this, go ahead and signup for some of my personal coaching if you haven’t already.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Having No Expectations

I have been talking to a lot of guys and girls lately about dating and I realized that many of them are unhappy with their dating lives. For one, I don’t think they see dating as being fun at all, and I realized that they are completely focused on what they are going to get out of dating. They are results-focused instead of process-focused, which could really make dating very un-fun. The reason is because dating is a lot like Forest Gump’s box of chocolates: You never know what you are going to get.

I find that the remedy to this is to just focus on the process (in this case the online dating system I developed, how I call/text girls, and how I conduct myself on a date) and to have fun. The other remedy I have for what I call the Dating-Hating syndrome is to have no expectations. Now the reasoning that my dating philosophy revolves around this mentality is very simple: You can only control your own actions and you cannot ever control the actions of another (even if you are an exceptionally skilled manipulator the other person always has some amount of choice).

Also I find (and dig down deep within yourself and you will find this to be true too) that the negative anxiety people feel towards dating doesn’t come from their own actions but their feelings toward their results and what other people think of them. I choose to remove this anxiety because I do not see any benefits and only tons of reasons why it is not helpful. Think about it. Being overly-anxious and negative only serves to put people off, which results in less dating-success. It also causes you to undermine your own self-confidence which leads to freezing up and not sticking to the process that serves to get you dating success. It causes you to reject people you might actually like and to reject yourself from going for what you want. I see guys that only go for nines and dimes, then fail to get them because they put these girls on a platinum pedestal, and then go home empty handed (well actually they put a piece of their broken manhood into their hand). At the end of the day it causes only loneliness and discontent.

On the other hand, I see guys (including myself) that have no expectations about their dating life (note: this does NOT mean that you have no standards or rules). Basically, every time a successful guy talks to women he doesn’t expect her to act in any way or that a certain outcome will or will not happen. He just follows his process that he knows leads him to success and lets everything fall as it may while enjoying himself. When I email a girl online, will she reciprocate? I don’t know. If I ask a girl for her number, will she give it to me? I don’t know. If I ask a girl on a date, will she end up going? I don’t know. If I like her and I’m having fun on the date, will it end up sexual at the end of the night? I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t care either. I know that I am not going to bat a thousand. I also know if I focus on trying to, then I will only cause a lot of anxiety within myself that tends to make the desired outcome even harder to reach. So I just let it all go, and have fun doing what I do to meet and date women.

This should make you guys (and gals) feel less crazy and stressed when dating and it will also lead to more success. If you REALLY want to figure out the secrets to ATTRACTING and MEETING the women you want, then do yourself a favor and signup for my FREE newsletter. Along with the newsletter you will get a FREE 10 page handbook and 15 minute video outlining my tips and tricks for online dating success. Go to www.webwomanizer.com NOW, and STAY TUNED for more products and services in the near future that will take your online game to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. As always, keep womanizing.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Do Looks Matter?

When it comes to dating, even online dating, does how a guy looks matter for success in meeting women? Short answer: Yes. Now, for the long answer…

Men are fairly simple when it comes to dating. We are very visual creatures. If we like what we see, we can (and many times do) allow A LOT of things to slide when dealing with those hot vixens. A lot of dating gurus focus on teaching guys how to look really good to impress the ladies. They will tell you to get into great shape—become lean with a bit of muscle, dress to impress, get a nice haircut, and develop and sexy sense of style. Does all of this work? YES, only a little bit…

When I was 18-20 I found it very difficult to get women to go out on a date with me. Some of my biggest problems were that I dressed like a slob, had long unkempt hair, didn’t shave or have a facial hair style, had no sense of style, and had terrible body language. Now, I wanted to improve myself so I listened to a lot of popular dating advice. I started dressing better, shaving, keeping my hair clean and styled, and put some pep in my step with a smile on my face. Did the ladies notice? Yes! Did I get a lot of dates? No! That’s when I started working on being social and developing my “game” and ability to interact and communicate with women. Did that get me dates? You betcha!

Now I have read a lot of stuff from evolutionary psychologists and popular seduction community dating coaches that say there are a bunch of different reasons that it takes a lot more than good looks to win the hearts (and other body parts) of women. I have noticed that a lot of guys that I coach or that I meet are above average looking (including myself) but have still had problems meeting and dating women. I’m not going to theorize and say why it takes more than looks to get beautiful women because I don’t know. All I do know is that good looks do help, but only a little.

Now you are probably thinking that I am contradicting myself because I just said that looks matter but they don’t get women. Okay, let me explain… To become successful with women you need a multitude of things working together in order to successfully attract and seduce them. Some parts are more important than others but if a part is important at all, then it is still very important. Confused yet?

Let’s put this into the context of online dating. To successfully attract girls you need 3 things working together: a well written profile, a well written initial email, and finally good pictures. Why? I don’t know why, and frankly it doesn’t matter. All that matters is knowing what you need to get what you want. I have done this enough to know that what pictures you have can make or break you chances of success, so looks matter, but just like in real life, they won’t work on their own.

So looks do matter. On their own they don’t matter enough to guarantee you success with women, but if they aren’t addressed then you won’t get the women you want. The more important question is this: How do I work with what I got to maximize my potential dating success? Aha! That one I can help you with.

First, find people that you KNOW have a good fashion sense. Not your mom, or your friends that stay at home and play video games, but people that you know that have other people try to dress like them: These can be celebrities, stylish guy friends, gay guy friends (the ones who understand style inside and out), guys that have hot girlfriends, or even professional stylists. Stay away from asking women because they might try to dress you in a way that looks socially proper instead of attractive. There is a difference: Trust me! Also, figure out what shape your head is and type of hair you have and try to pick a style that fits it. Again emulate people whose hairstyles that you like and know will complement your face and clothing style. Again, ask experts if you need to. On top of this, workout and diet regularly, get a decent base tan, and get tattoos and body piercings if that’s your thing (women like that too).

Now that you are looking good take it to the next step to get good online dating success: Either pay for (or go to ModelMayhem.com to get for free) a professional/semi-professional photographer or photography student to take your pictures. Have you ever seen someone on the cover of a magazine look bad EVEN if they are overweight or not good-looking in real life? Yeah, it’s pretty rare. A good photograph could make a 5 look like an 8 or an 8 like a 10. The combination of the perfect angle, perfect lighting, good clothing and hair, and all those neat little photoshop tools help to give you that sharp-looking edge. Trust me when I say this, it can increase the quality of the girls you meet along with the quantity.

I hope this helps. But it will only help girls notice you better or turn a maybe girl into a yes girl. If you REALLY want to figure out the secrets to ATTRACTING and MEETING the women you want, then do yourself a favor and signup for my FREE newsletter. Along with the newsletter you will get a FREE 10 page handbook and 15 minute video outlining my tips and tricks for online dating success. Go to www.webwomanizer.com NOW, and STAY TUNED for more products and services in the near future that will take your online game to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. As always, keep womanizing.

Monday, August 2, 2010

*****Limited Time special Offer!!!!*****

Right now I am offering a special in promotion of my dating coaching business where I am writing profiles for guys for ONLY $25 for the first 50 people to signup to my newsletter on the website. Go to http://webwomanizer.com/?page_id=145 to signup NOW!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Creating an Image: Showing vs. Telling

Many guys (and girls) tend to write their profile in a way that is similar to making up a grocery list. Basically, they think of their best attributes, hobbies, likes, dislikes, what they want in a person, what they don’t want, and just write it all down in a very simple order. It usually looks something like this:


Hi, I am Mark. I am just another average 24 year old guy. I have an athletic build, and I consider myself nice, caring, intelligent, funny, and honest. I like going to the movies, listening to music, hanging out with friends, partying, working out and painting. I like long walks on the beach and in the park, but hate going out to the bar scene anymore. I want a girl that is good looking, nice, fun, smart, sweet, and sexy. I don’t like bigger girls or gold diggers though. If you are interested, then feel free to email me.


Now, I will concede to the fact that most people write their profiles like the one above. However, the # 1 SECRET to online dating is to be creative and stand out away from what everybody else does. One of the ways you can be creative and different in a way the builds ATTRACTION is to create images while writing.
Instead of saying: “I am athletic and enjoy working out” say: “My competitive athletic nature compels me to go into ‘Race mode’ every time I lock eye contact with the person next to me. My motto is: ‘Whoever faints, falls, and smashes their face into the burning rubber tread loses. Ready, set, BURN!’”

See the difference? One of them tells you while the other one SHOWS you. The second example creates an image and comes off as much more interesting than then one that just tells. Adding humor makes it even more effective because that adds arguably the most attractive quality INTO the picture that you are painting.
In conclusion, think of your profile as a picture that you are painting or a story that you are writing. You want to include imagery to GRAB the reader, HOOK them into your world, and keep them ATTRACTED.

If you are interested on learning more tips and tricks to ATTRACT the people into your life from online dating, then do yourself a favor and signup for my FREE newsletter. Along with the newsletter you will get a FREE 10 page handbook and 15 minute video outlining my tips and tricks for online dating success. Go to www.webwomanizer.com NOW, and STAY TUNED for more products and services in the near future that will take your online game to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL. As always, keep womanizing.